My friends tell me I’m too smart for things like love, emotions, and movies (I tend to criticize sci-fi movies too much for their lack of fidelity to physics)

I guess what they were right.

I am spending time with someone I really like and though it feels nice to be with a person who also likes me, I can’t help but think A LOT of other stuff about dating.

What if this person finds me boring?

What if this person is also seeing someone else without me knowing?

What if I would lose this feeling and become a certified douchebag?

What if this won’t work?

I kept thinking about the negative possibilites that I forgot to feel what I felt whenever I’m with this person I really like.

To be fair, it’s my first time to take dating seriously and I am all new to this.

But one thing that sets me apart from people who has long been wanting to date or meet people to engage in a relationship is that I have been alone and lonely for so long that I don’t want to lose someone who has finally made me feel “not alone, never lonely”.

I can’t help but overthink because I don’t want to go back to that place.

Until I finally came to realize that by overthinking, I am trying to go back to that dark corner.

So I stopped.

I decided I should just feel the warm feeling, appreciate what we have at the moment, be vulnerable, be loved and love.

I used to think that I was too smart for things like love, but I guess that was just a part of me who was still longing for something that doesn’t require thinking.

June 25, 2018

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